These last few days I’ve been doing a lot of introspection and that’s a good thing sometimes, take time to re-evalute and ask God. “Ask God what?”
Oh, alot of things actually, could be anything, but I’ve found it’s always best to take whatever it is and just ask Him, ask God. “Where am I going?” “What am I doing?” or “what’s this (whatever it is) all been about?” Makes me think of the verse, In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps (proverbs 16:9). Of course, a course!
And I suppose that’s what got me thinking this past week as I pulled out my journal; the course God and I have been on together and after reading over the last six years of my life sometimes the course God chooses is not always the easiest path or the path of least resistance hence, how I arrived at the title for this post; when God pulls out “the sandpaper.”
I have come to the conclusion that sandpaper is not fun. I have even told God, “God I do not like it, your sandpaper, and I do not care for you to pull out the sandpaper on me again.” But then reading through my journal I see over these last few years how necessary His sandpaper is, painful, but still necessary when it comes to our growth and walks with God.
Reading through my journal it seems that so much of it reads as years of wandering through a wilderness I think, just God and me, and me constantly questioning, “what’s this all about?” and then seeing His answer, “sandpaper” He tells me. Yes, more sandpaper, more shaping, molding. “Until what?” Well, until perhaps the lesson’s finally complete and we can then take a big sigh of relief and then? God hands us another one.
Yes, I’m afraid to say it but school with God never really lets out. It doesn’t. Oh, there’s times when some lessons are harder than others, and wilderness experiences don’t last forever (thank God for that) but as far as God’s teaching? God is always teaching. It’s just a matter of what tool He’s chosen to get our attention. Sometimes it’s easy, we hear His word, our eyes are opened. Sometimes it’s not and to reshape us, yes, He pulls out “the sandpaper.”
Over these last few days of introspection I started journaling again as I find it good to have something to go back and reflect on, to see the course God and I have been on together, sort of like a growth chart. It’s funny, my journal is almost full now, six years, and soon I will be able to start a new one. I’m sure too filled with more questions, lessons and occasional bouts with sandpaper but it is a journey nonetheless. Journaling is just a way perhaps to see the steps, but as the verse says, it is God who determines them and if sandpaper’s involved, remember, it’s just a growth lesson.
“And this too shall pass.”
