And as I begin this morning nothing wants to come to mind for a title, but still, I write, and so often (as with so many other things) I figure whatever it is that needs to be said will be said. Strange but true.
But what do I feel the need to say? Not much really except, I want to find a way back to God. I’ve missed Him and I’ve especially missed writing about Him. Sort of a feeling of needing to dig my way out and back. Like, I’ve been buried under some giant pile of laundry (metaphorically speaking) and for some reason… it’s heavy. But somehow I need to. Somehow it seems that the only place I feel true peace, for me, is when I’m writing about God because it’s then that I’m actively seeking Him. I’m listening, “God, what do you have to say?” And this, this is what I’ve missed.
But this morning I pulled out some of my older writings, journalings, whatever you want to call them, and as I read through them what I seemed to notice most was… there was joy in my voice and the joy came from God, from pointing to Him, and I could hear it as I read, that old me. And you know what? I decided, “I want that back.”
Now, I know some of you as you read this might be thinking, “wow, she’s really fallen off the band wagon,” or maybe, “oh no. She’s a prodigal!” But, that’s not what I’m talking about at all here. What I’m talking about is finding and doing that one thing that seems to be, “what?” That one thing, and you know God’s given it to you for a specific reason that makes you, “what?” Could it be… inexplicably happy? Joyful? Even at peace? Could be. For me it’s writing, and more importantly, when I use that writing to point to God. Yeah, for some reason this makes me happy (and don’t ask me why this is, because as you can tell I’m no prodigy) but yeah, this, this brings me joy, and for some reason, this, this definitely brings me peace. And again, I think this has something to do with how when we use our gifts to point to God, it causes us to draw closer to Him, which is always a good thing.
So, “now what?” All I can say is, if God’s called you to do something, do it, and stop making excuses. You know, I’ve spent far too long searching for a voice I thought I’d lost. Or maybe… I preoccupied myself with other things because I didn’t know how to find it. Skipping quiet times with God because I was letting in too many distractions, when instead, I could just drop them at His feet and… relish Him. You know, that’s it exactly. That’s what I’ve forgotten, that’s what I’ve missed, and that’s what I want to get back to… to relish Him! Again.
