“I Surrender! I Surrender!”

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what God requires of us. Or maybe, what God requires of me.  Because lately, God’s really been putting me through it, to the point that I’m now down in the trenches and waving the white flag of mercy, “I surrender! I surrender!”  And this can be a tough place to be, at least for me, because, I thought I had already gone through all my surrender issues.  Apparently though, there are still some areas of my life I’ve been hanging on to, (namely, trust issues) which God not so gently pointed out to me.

Yeah, God can be tough on us sometimes, it’s true.  The longer you hang with Him and really get to know Him, you’ll see.  He’s pretty much a  stickler about everything.  Oh, sometimes He’ll go gentle on us (especially if you’re a newbie), but if you got some serious weeds, (with deep roots) He won’t hesitate to pull out a bulldozer – whatever it takes.  Unfortunately for me with this last ordeal that I’ve been through, (and I’m sorry to say am still in the midst of) God plowed me.

Now, with most of these “God plowings” God usually gives us ample opportunity to avoid them, but in this case, such as not listening to Him in the first place, (think of Jonah here) He has no choice but to amp it up, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”  Me: “I think so.”  Because literally, I just took it on the chin and am now down for the count,  “1… 2…”  Well, you get my drift and the last place you want to be, is in a boxing match with God.

Now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t outright defiance, (okay, maybe it was to some degree, the more I think about it) but it was just a little thing, really.  Kind of like Jonah and Nineveh, (okay, maybe not quite that big) but still, God was calling me on a mission, only… I kept hesitating, God kept calling, and again… I kept hesitating.  Yeah, the thing about a mission is, when God calls you, it’s going to require of you two things: something called sacrifice, and something else: faith, and lots of it.

Me: “But…”

God:  “No, no buts…”

Me:  But…”

And then this is the part where God gets really annoyed and I land flat on my back with two bad knees.

God: “I kept telling you.”

Me: “I know.  If only I had listened.”

Yeah, if only I had listened, but the thing about God is, He still has a mission, for each and every one of us.  And the thing about God is, even if we do screw it up by not trusting Him in the first place, (and yeah, those orders will self destruct in 30 seconds) He’ll send another one, until we finally do get it.

And how do I know this? Because when you’re laid up, it has a really big way of getting your attention.  Not to mention that when I walked, (and yeah, thankfully I can still walk) into the doctor’s office the other day and took a seat in the waiting room, there just so happened to be a story on the news about some guy who wrote a book on faith, (yeah, talk about divine appointment).

Now, don’t ask me to recall who the author was or even the name of the book, because that’s not what I remember.  The only thing I remember is that it followed the story of a man who was sent to prison, and once there he told God, “God, if you’ll just get me out of this mess, then you can have my life.” Or in other words: surrender.  Oh, and that man is now a pastor in an inner city somewhere making a difference in the lives of people, who really need the hope that he brings them.

God:  “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

Me:  “Yes, God.  I’m going.”

To Relish Him

And as I begin this morning nothing wants to come to mind for a title, but still, I write, and so often (as with so many other things) I figure whatever it is that needs to be said will be said. Strange but true.

But what do I feel the need to say? Not much really except, I want to find a way back to God. I’ve missed Him and I’ve especially missed writing about Him. Sort of a feeling of needing to dig my way out and back. Like, I’ve been buried under some giant pile of laundry (metaphorically speaking) and for some reason… it’s heavy. But somehow I need to. Somehow it seems that the only place I feel true peace, for me, is when I’m writing about God because it’s then that I’m actively seeking Him. I’m listening, “God, what do you have to say?” And this, this is what I’ve missed.

But this morning I pulled out some of my older writings, journalings, whatever you want to call them, and as I read through them what I seemed to notice most was… there was joy in my voice and the joy came from God, from pointing to Him, and I could hear it as I read, that old me. And you know what? I decided, “I want that back.”

Now, I know some of you as you read this might be thinking, “wow, she’s really fallen off the band wagon,” or maybe, “oh no. She’s a prodigal!” But, that’s not what I’m talking about at all here. What I’m talking about is finding and doing that one thing that seems to be, “what?” That one thing, and you know God’s given it to you for a specific reason that makes you, “what?” Could it be… inexplicably happy? Joyful? Even at peace? Could be. For me it’s writing, and more importantly, when I use that writing to point to God. Yeah, for some reason this makes me happy (and don’t ask me why this is, because as you can tell I’m no prodigy) but yeah, this, this brings me joy, and for some reason, this, this definitely brings me peace. And again, I think this has something to do with how when we use our gifts to point to God, it causes us to draw closer to Him, which is always a good thing.

So, “now what?” All I can say is, if God’s called you to do something, do it, and stop making excuses. You know, I’ve spent far too long searching for a voice I thought I’d lost. Or maybe… I preoccupied myself with other things because I didn’t know how to find it. Skipping quiet times with God because I was letting in too many distractions, when instead, I could just drop them at His feet and… relish Him. You know, that’s it exactly. That’s what I’ve forgotten, that’s what I’ve missed, and that’s what I want to get back to… to relish Him!  Again.

For The Goodness of God

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:6-8).

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9).

Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on him, “If you continue in my word, then are you my disciples indeed; And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:31-32).

For the Goodness of God; that while we were still sinners Christ died for us. That while we were still sinners God sent His only begotten Son to redeem mankind from the power of Satan. God’s gift of eternal life, extended and available to all who believe. To all who call upon the name of the Lord. The goodness of God; patient and longsuffering that all should come to repentance. That all should come to the knowledge of the truth, to understanding, having their eyes opened.

Jesus answered, “I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” (John 3:5-7).

Having our eyes opened. For there are many who walk in spiritual darkness. There are many who have a “form” of godliness. There are many who proclaim the name of the Lord but their hearts are far from Him. Their are many who know of Him but who don’t know Him. Who speak of Him yet who do not understand the truth of His sayings. Who cannot fathom His greatness. Who do not revere or fear Him.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. (John 1:1-5).

Do you understand it? Even the demons believe there is a God and even they tremble. Simply believing that there is a God is not enough. You must be “born again!” So who of you still walks in spiritual darkness? And who lacks understanding?

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5)

For God desires that no one should perish. Look at the life of Saul before becoming Paul. Who walked in spiritual darkness. Who knew the scriptures yet persecuted Christians because he thought he was doing God a great service. Even Saul, who before he came to the true knowledge of Jesus Christ, even he thought he knew God but was walking in spiritual blindness. Who by God’s might and by God’s goodness was changed from Saul to Paul. Paul, who fell on his face in fear and trembling before a mighty and an awesome God. Paul, who for lack of seeing, became blind until the scales fell from his eyes that he then could finally see. For the goodness of God. That all might come to a saving faith. To a faith like that of Paul’s. That counts all as rubbish except for Christ. Paul, who ran the race to win it. Is this not the kind of faith God wants to form in us? Not a faith that conforms to the world. Not a faith that makes excuses for sin. But a transforming faith, full of the awesome power and goodness of God. That has the ability to open the eyes of men. That has the ability to save even the “chiefest of all sinners.” Is this not the kind of faith God calls us to have? For the goodness of God. For the goodness of God. And do I see? Am I reaching those who are perishing with all that I am, all that Christ is within me, to proclaim the truth of His Word that is able to save and pull many from the enemy’s hand? “For to live is Christ, but to die is gain.” And is this my mentality? and if it is not, then should it not be? I ask you, for the goodness of God… that while I was still a sinner Christ died for me.

Saul’s Conversion (Acts 9:1-19)

Meanwhile, Saul was still breathing out murderous threats against the Lord’s disciples. He went to the high priest and asked him for letters to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any there who belonged to the Way, whether men or women, he might take them as prisoners to Jerusalem. As he neared Damascus on his journey, suddenly a light from heaven flashed around him. He fell to the ground and heard a voice say to him, “Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?”

“Who are you, Lord?” Saul asked.

“I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting,” he replied. “Now get up and go into the city, and you will be told what you must do.”

The men traveling with Saul stood there speechless; they heard the sound but did not see anyone. Saul got up from the ground, but when he opened his eyes he could see nothing. So they led him by the hand into Damascus. For three days he was blind, and did not eat or drink anything.

In Damascus there was a disciple named Ananias. The Lord called to him in a vision, “Ananias!”

“Yes, Lord,” he answered.

The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

“Lord,” Ananias answered, “I have heard many reports about this man and all the harm he has done to your saints in Jerusalem. And he has come here with authority from the chief priests to arrest all who call on your name.”

But the Lord said to Ananias, “Go! This man is my chosen instrument to carry my name before the Gentiles and their kings and before the people of Israel. I will show him how much he must suffer for my name.”

Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, “Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit.” Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul’s eyes, and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

And Phillippians 3:7-21 (written by Paul)

But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Pressing on Toward the Goal

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained.

Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Send Me Out!

And wanting to go but thinking, “how will I ever get there?” and to where? “Where am I going?” Makes me think of Abraham who God gave a promise to of bigger things, of a land flowing with milk and honey! And out of obedience He goes, “send me out!” And so God gives the call but when He does will he find that we are ready? I wonder and I wonder this even for myself.

“How O Lord, will you ever send me out?” A land flowing with milk and honey, and I wonder, “what is that, Lord? A land flowing with milk and honey?” And then I hear Him ask me, “What is that to you?” And I suppose it could be anything, perhaps a promise God has given to you/me. “But how will I ever ever get there?” we wonder and I wonder this too.

“How will I ever reach the promise God has given me? And how, out of all people, will He ever be able to work it out in me?” Then I think to myself, “still so much growing I need to do.”

Reminds me of last Sunday’s sermon and it was so good, it really was… “God is a God of Hope!” and He is and I know he gives pastor’s these sermons just to remind us of this. That when God gives you a promise, no matter what it is, wait for it, His perfect timing and as you wait seek Him, seek His face, read His Word, and let Him grow you. The interim time, from point A to point B. Point A (the promise He gives you). Point B (when He brings it to completion or in other words; He brings you to that land flowing with milk and honey.) But the line between the two? “Is what?” It’s the “inbetween” time and believe me, it can feel like such, such a long time, but there’s always a reason for it; and perhaps it’s because there’s still growing He needs to do.

“So what has God shown you? and what do you cling to? A promise that He’s given specifically to you?”

Along time ago God gave me a promise. He showed me a ministry and when He did I thought, “you’re crazy God! That’s the last place I’d ever want to go!” But you know what? The more time I spend here between point A and point B the more I see. I see how He continually shapes me until hopefully, finally, someday, I’ll be ready… for point B. For now, whatever it is God has shown you, that promise He’s given specifically to you, while you wait for it, that land of milk and honey, keep your eyes on Him and always remember… that He loves you! Your “God of Hope” is what He is!