The End of Me

When I have reached the end of me. When I am exhausted. When I feel as though I can’t go on any longer, or there is no strength left to go on. When I reach the end of me, then what do I have left to go on? Only God. For it is here that I cry out, “God, overtake for me!” and stepping in God says, “watch and see.” For when I have reached the “end of me,” it is then that God says, “watch and see.”

And it’s as I write this post that I think about something that’s been very personal to me, as I have, for nearly the last year and a half now been in a battle of “epic” proportions (or so it seems) and for those of you who know me you might be wondering, “what kind of battle?” A spiritual battle. And trust me, when any of us set out to live our lives for God and His glory, then the enemy will rear his ugly head and eventually we will find that we are in a battle – so prepare yourself and “get ready.” For this is the kind of battle I have been in, and though a spiritual battle, it is often that we find and should not be suprised that spiritual battles are always waged against us in the flesh.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. (Ephesians 6:12) And this is what we must constantly remind ourselves of that “we wrestle not against flesh and blood,” but instead we need to arm ourselves continuously with the whole armor of God.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth, and having on the breastplate of righteousness; And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace; Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; (Ephesians 6: 13-18)

For it is when we are in the battle that all around us is the clashing of armor, shields, and swords, as God’s angel armies fight against Satan’s demon hordes! And… “what are they fighting for?” For the good of God to triumph over evil! For the light to shine upon the faces of men! Yes, all around us there is a war. Many fall to the righthand and many to the left as the enemy’s trickery overtakes them and again, the clash of swords! And it’s here exhausted I stagger, having reached the “end of me” that I then hear God’s angel army advancing as it yells out, “Victory! Victory! Victory!” For the battle is the Lord’s! Yes, the battle is the Lord’s!

The Eleventh Hour

God is such a good Father, He really is and I guess today that’s what I want to reflect on; His goodness and His purposes. He has been working in my heart a lot over these last few weeks and teaching, always teaching. But He reminds me, that even in difficulties, even in trials He is still working, sometimes even orchestrating their very existence because of something He has purposed to work out in me or maybe someone else. That even in difficulties God will still turn them around and use them for our good and He does, He really does. “And we know that all things work together for good to those that love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28).

It makes me think of Peter, when he and the other disciples were out on a boat in the middle of a storm (see Matthew 14) and here comes Jesus, walking on the water – yes, even in the middle of a storm and Peter seeing him goes out to meet Him, eyes on Him. It isn’t until he takes his eyes off of Jesus that he then starts to sink, noticing the waves around him, yet even then Jesus catches him, “I will not let you sink,” He says, or this is what I imagine He would say when we find ourselves in the middle of a storm, “I will not let you sink.” Christ is there and He holds our hand, we need only to keep our eyes on Him until He returns us to the safety of the boat and then, did you notice what happens? The storm ceases to exist.

You see, even in the midst of adversity, trials, or whatever we might find ourselves in, God will not allow the winds to blow forever, but while they do, we need only keep our eyes on Him.

From my journal the other day:

When we are in the thick of it – God comes. He takes us by the hand and upholds us. He speaks comfort to us. He is our strength. He gives us understanding, and though it may not be complete it is enough to sustain us. He is gracious and knows what we can and cannot handle and when it is we start to lose our grip on it, when it feels as though we ourselves might come undone, this, this is when God comes; and it is “The Eleventh Hour.”