“I Surrender! I Surrender!”

Lately I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what God requires of us. Or maybe, what God requires of me.  Because lately, God’s really been putting me through it, to the point that I’m now down in the trenches and waving the white flag of mercy, “I surrender! I surrender!”  And this can be a tough place to be, at least for me, because, I thought I had already gone through all my surrender issues.  Apparently though, there are still some areas of my life I’ve been hanging on to, (namely, trust issues) which God not so gently pointed out to me.

Yeah, God can be tough on us sometimes, it’s true.  The longer you hang with Him and really get to know Him, you’ll see.  He’s pretty much a  stickler about everything.  Oh, sometimes He’ll go gentle on us (especially if you’re a newbie), but if you got some serious weeds, (with deep roots) He won’t hesitate to pull out a bulldozer – whatever it takes.  Unfortunately for me with this last ordeal that I’ve been through, (and I’m sorry to say am still in the midst of) God plowed me.

Now, with most of these “God plowings” God usually gives us ample opportunity to avoid them, but in this case, such as not listening to Him in the first place, (think of Jonah here) He has no choice but to amp it up, “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”  Me: “I think so.”  Because literally, I just took it on the chin and am now down for the count,  “1… 2…”  Well, you get my drift and the last place you want to be, is in a boxing match with God.

Now don’t get me wrong, this wasn’t outright defiance, (okay, maybe it was to some degree, the more I think about it) but it was just a little thing, really.  Kind of like Jonah and Nineveh, (okay, maybe not quite that big) but still, God was calling me on a mission, only… I kept hesitating, God kept calling, and again… I kept hesitating.  Yeah, the thing about a mission is, when God calls you, it’s going to require of you two things: something called sacrifice, and something else: faith, and lots of it.

Me: “But…”

God:  “No, no buts…”

Me:  But…”

And then this is the part where God gets really annoyed and I land flat on my back with two bad knees.

God: “I kept telling you.”

Me: “I know.  If only I had listened.”

Yeah, if only I had listened, but the thing about God is, He still has a mission, for each and every one of us.  And the thing about God is, even if we do screw it up by not trusting Him in the first place, (and yeah, those orders will self destruct in 30 seconds) He’ll send another one, until we finally do get it.

And how do I know this? Because when you’re laid up, it has a really big way of getting your attention.  Not to mention that when I walked, (and yeah, thankfully I can still walk) into the doctor’s office the other day and took a seat in the waiting room, there just so happened to be a story on the news about some guy who wrote a book on faith, (yeah, talk about divine appointment).

Now, don’t ask me to recall who the author was or even the name of the book, because that’s not what I remember.  The only thing I remember is that it followed the story of a man who was sent to prison, and once there he told God, “God, if you’ll just get me out of this mess, then you can have my life.” Or in other words: surrender.  Oh, and that man is now a pastor in an inner city somewhere making a difference in the lives of people, who really need the hope that he brings them.

God:  “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

Me:  “Yes, God.  I’m going.”

Taking Inventory

And sometimes this is a good place to be; taking inventory. When God hands you a clipboard and says, “let’s see, shall we?” And I think even for myself that’s what God’s been doing with me over these last few weeks; taking inventory, “what’s really going on inside of me?” Those places God still has yet to get at, or areas He wants to bring to healing, or maybe even places I have yet to surrender, so, I guess that’s what I mean by taking inventory, “What’s really going on inside of me?”

There are always places in our lives that God wants to get at. Places that perhaps are barren wastelands, or maybe they even used to be gardens now over grown with weeds. Places of deep hurts and woundings, of disappointments and longings, places maybe even we ourselves have closed the doors to, “I don’t even want to deal with that!” we say, but God? He is never like that. Oh, He may for a time let us ignore things but then eventually (and perhaps He knows it’s when we’re ready) He comes back to that place, that place He wants to transform in us, that place He wants to free us from and then He says, “now what about this?” and we might respond as we try to stand in front of the mess, “what are you talking about God?” “This,” He says pointing, “now, what about this?” And God is so funny like that, with Him it really is a parent/child relationship.

Taking Inventory; what to keep, what to throw out, and “what do I need God’s help with in changing?” Trust me, there are always areas in our lives that if we look at honestly we could all say, “God, weed this out of me!” and then, “in it’s place, plant something that is pleasing,” because it’s when I’m taking inventory it’s then that I’m looking. Looking at those areas of my life that still aren’t “Christ reflecting,” or those areas of my life that He still isn’t Lord over and really, isn’t that what we should all be seeking? Or maybe it’s asking? “Lord, are you really Lord over all of my life?” “Have I really given you everything?” It’s then that He hands us the clipboard and says, “well, let’s take inventory, shall we?” Because with God it’s all about illuminating; what to keep, what to throw out, and “what do I still need God’s help with in changing?” It’s a growth process, so grow with me.

How Shall We?

How shall we reach the lost? How shall we reach the broken hearted, the wounded and those who live a life enslaved to sin? How shall we reach them Oh God? How shall the Body of Christ stir up the hearts so that we should all turn to You in repentance? How shall we see ourselves Lord as we truly are, in filth, and brokenness, our need for a Savior? How shall we do this? How shall we open eyes that fail to see and ears that fail to hear? Tell us Lord, how shall we? Do our hearts ache for the oppressed and the unlovely? Do our hearts ache for those in bondage? Do we ourselves see even our own impoverished need? Has God brought us to that place of great emptying? How shall we ever get there Lord? How shall we? How shall we become Your great hands of mercy? How shall we feed the poor and needy? How shall we bind up the wounds of profuse bleeding? How shall we become the Spotless Bride of Christ that then they would see God your infinite love and tender mercies? Oh tell us Lord, how do we? How do we become all that You long for us to be? How do we be emptied? To fall on our faces in repentance, to remember that we are but dust? To remember that all that we are is because of You and belongs to You? How do we get to this place Oh God? How do we get to this place where we long only to please You? To live a life of quiet holiness and obedience unto You? You who died on a cross for us. You who died and nailed the sins of the world there pierced in your flesh to bear once and for all, for all of us. How do we Lord remember this? How do we recall all of Your loving acts of kindness? To let Your unfailing Love transform us so all that we are, all that we do honors You? How do we Lord? How do we become the Children of God? Oh, show us Lord. Open our weary and blinded eyes Lord that maybe then a dying world would see Your amazing Love, Your Saving Grace, and Jesus poured out and poured through us, you and me. How do we Lord? Have mercy.